What Is Family?

Me...I was over-sheltered.   My life consisted of home, school, and church, with a few friends mixed into the middle every now and then.  So, community comes hard to me.  Wherever I lived, it was like I was in the community, yet I wasn't.  I lived in the community, but yet I wasn't involved with what was going on.  The best way for me to describe with a visual is this way....

Take two boxes, 1 large and 1 small.  Cut a window like shape in both boxes (Outside the two boxes is the whole world).  Place the smaller box inside the larger one, lining up the "windows".  Now, take me.  Place me between the two boxes in front of the "windows" cut out.  Next, take some other people, and place them in the smaller box, leaving them in a community type setting.  It could be at a coffee shop, play date, etc.  Take a step back, and take a good look.  What do you see?  If you said you saw a person who was isolated, that is correct.

I was isolated.

There were many times where I went places, like my cousin's wedding, 8 months before mine, and I wanted to dance.  However, because of my parents' beliefs (no trash talk against my parents), I wasn't allowed to.  It caused me to feel left out.  How can I be a part of community, developing much needed relationships, if I am not allowed to be a part of activities that are not necessarily sinful??

Anyways, that is just the background.  I realize I have said it before, but just as a reminder, I do not plan to go into detail on my family dynamics.

I will be honest.  For quite a while, I lost my way.  I got off track.  BUT, thank the Lord, He has placed people in my life (y'all know who you are) to help me get back to where I need to be.  I fought those friends for quite a while.  I fought God.  I fought my husband.  None of it worked.  My way failed.  It wasn't until something happened with one of my family members, which caused me to "Hit Rock Bottom", as they say, that I really began to let people in and rescue me from the "swamp" I was sinking so deep and quickly in.

I am not yet where I need to be.  However, I am not where I used to be either.  The "ironic" thing to me now, is that all families have issues, including mine and my husband's.  There are some that are totally close, some literally living within the same neighborhood, and have community with each other, then there are those that are the total opposite, as far as living conditions/arrangements are, yet are still close, and make it a priority to be in contact etc.  Finally, there are those families that used to be close, but due to issues and moves to different cities, etc., there are those who are "family", yet not family.  In other words, they don't really make it a priority to remember each other's birthdays, or to to make it a point for reunions, etc.  By blood, they are family, but relationship wise, no one really knows each other.  Sadly, my family falls into that category.  It didn't used to be that way (or was it?), but because every one holds onto the past and their anger, I have witnessed relationships dissolve right before my eyes....

Which brings me to what I am about to say.  What is the definition of family?  What makes family...family?  One definition is being blood related, another is being adopted into a family.  I know one family in my church who is a foster family.  That same family has been blessed to be able to adopt one little boy as their own. Another family is currently in the process of adopting a little boy from the other side of the world.  Those definitions are both correct.  There is nothing wrong with them, but for me....

My life definition of family is not just about whether someone is adopted or is biologically related.  Family means to be in constant relationship with them.  Getting to know what they like, how they act, what they are going through, etc.  Community.  No matter whether it be good or bad.

I am in no way, shape, or form, perfect at this.  Neither is anyone else I know.  That is why it is called community.  God uses us to sharpen each other.  Not just as an individual, but as a child of God too.  The more we delve into Him, whether it be by reading His Word, listening to music, etc., the more we learn about who Jesus is.

Family is all about relationship.  For me, my family consists of people that I have relationships with, such as my church family.  Because I am developing those relationships, pressing into them, and vice versa, we continue to grow closer in a special way.

Relationship is KEY.