Appointed Time

I feel as if my blog is going to become nothing but a place for me to vent now.  Not that I plan on letting that happen, but that is how I feel at this present time.  Needless to say, the last couple of days have really flared up my pregnancy hormones.

Let's see.  Yesterday, I fueled up my car, and was also going to get it a bath.  However, the HEB I fill up at, the car wash is always at work, and for this reason, it breaks down constantly.  I have never had an issue with it until the first time I tried to use use it, which happened to be a few weeks ago.  I drove up only to have to back out the way I came because it was "closed for maintenance".  Yesterday, I bought the car wash at the pump, went to enter the code, only to see on the screen that it said closed.  I was peeved.  This was the second time that I had tried to use the HEB car wash, and once again, it did not work!  What good is something if it is constantly down?!

When I arrived home, I immediately called, respectfully filed a complaint, and thankfully, got a free wash AND my money back.  I don't know if I really care about the free wash.  Not that I don't appreciate it, but I don't want to go to get one, and then the machine be down again.  Plus, my husband said to not bother and use it in the future because of the experiences I have had with it.  I think to him, even though the machine clogs up from the heavy mud from oilfields, it is a bunch of junk to him because something like a car wash machine should be more heavy duty than what it actually is.  It is constantly being used (non-stop).....

Then today, we get the mail, and I have some lab results from my doctor.  One is the blood work from the "gender reveal" and down syndrome (NORMAL), and the other is supposedly the other blood-work which checks my hemoglobin, white/red blood cells, RH factor, etc. (ABNORMAL). That however, was not supposed to be done until my next appointment....(???)  My doctor did not draw blood my very first appointment in May of 2015.  He did though, in June.  When I saw the results, I did not understand, so I called, but because my doctor recently switched from having a private practice to a group practice, I can no longer:

1)  Talk to my doctor over the phone...only to the nurse.

2)  Receive results over the phone.

But am forced to:

1)  Make an appointment with my doctor just to talk to him about any questions/concerns I may have, or receive results of lab work, etc.

2)  Feel as if they are withholding information from me.

           ----  It is my right to know at any time I want or need!  I am sorry, but I should not "need" permission or appointments to just talk with my doctor.

Oh, granted!  I understand why there are precautions being taken.  People's identities have been stolen, information without permission has been given out....the list goes on.  However, from the patient's perspective, it is ridiculous and unacceptable!

Now, that said....whatever is ABNORMAL, my doctor is not too concerned about it.  "He said"(more like the office and paperwork") it could/would be discussed at my next appointment which is in a few weeks.

I absolutely LOVE my doctor.  A good doctor is hard to come by nowadays.  However, I DESPISE his new group practice, and in my personal opinion, he should return to having his own private practice.

As a result of his switching over to a group practice, my doctor has not only had to replace several AWESOME nurses and receptionists, but probably has lost patients as well to another OB/GYN.  I, as one of the patients, because of the unsatisfactory treatment  today, am caused to want to change health care providers.  I hate not being able to acquire information, which is my right to know.  Plus, whenever there is any type of "drama", I tend to be a worry wart and freak out.

Now that I have calmed down a bit, and vented to my husband, I realize that my husband has a point.  Maybe because there is a possibility of blood-work being done when it shouldn't have been done, that is the reason for why it came back ABNORMAL.  It could be something simple as my iron levels being low.  Either way, it is nothing to be overly concerned about.  Otherwise, they would have had me come in right away.  It is NOT life threatening!  But still, not being able to go about things with my doctor as I used to, is still annoying and frustrating!!!!

.................AARRGGHH!!!!!!

The Respect Of Privacy

Why is it that people have to be so inquisitive, and place their noses into places where it does not belong!?

I am sorry.  I may not have the correct attitude here, but I just need to vent, plus it gives a little more insight as to why I tend to be on more of the private side, and what some of my pet peeves are.

A little background first...

I may have hinted at it a little earlier on, but I was brought up that family "business" (could be issues, etc.) stayed within the family.  Now, I don't totally agree with that philosophy.  For one reason, that just pushes people away who want to be there for you, in whatever the case, and causes you to be an island.  However, people do not need to know every little detail and aspect of your life either.  There has to be some boundaries.

That said...

My husband and I are getting ready to have a privacy fence put up.  One reason is obvious....we want the privacy.  My husband, not that he dislikes our neighbors, does not care to be outside when they are outside themselves, hosting company.  I believe it makes him feel like he is intruding in on their personal life a little bit, and inviting himself to the party.  I can understand.  No one wants a "party crasher".  The second reason is because we have two dogs, and one of them...well, is a jumper.  My husband even extended the height of our back gate, and the animal still jumps over!!!!!

As a side-note, we currently live in the house that my in-laws owned, and my husband grew up in.  We about 3 years ago, bought it from my mother-in-law.  My mother-in-law, when we moved in warned me that this particular woman was very...inquisitive.  The more I see of this behavior, the less respect I have for the person.  Anyways, so because we need the fence badly, we had a friend of ours come give us an estimate.  Afterwards, my husband got to talking to our "inquisitive" next door neighbor.  From my husband's perspective, he did not enjoy the conversation. During the conversation, they asked my husband if we were concerned that our children would drown in the kiddie pool we have.  My husband told her:  "No.  Momma is always right there."

We were both aggravated.  Later, my husband talked to his accountability partner, and his reaction, he said would have been:  "No, but apparently you are!!"  In other words, my husband's accountability partner not only sided with us, but he does not care for people who are just plain nosey, and it was his way of saying:  "Mind your own business."

Now, please do not interpret what I am saying in the wrong way.  My husband I love that other people love our children, and care about them, but we do not know this neighbor like we do some of our other friends.  Plus, in the past, we have been caused to feel as if we are incapable of caring for our own family, which we most certainly ARE NOT!!!!

To Our Very Inquisitive Neighbor....

I understand if you need or want friends, however, this is not the way to go about it.  PLEASE MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!!

The Black Sheep

Why do people have to have double standards????

Yesterday, I was sitting outside on our swing in our back yard with my husband, keeping him company while he was painting our "new" trundle bed we received for our kiddos.  Across the highway is another subdivision.  When I happen to look over to my right, low and behold, I observe a man who was bare chested, working in the yard.  Yet, his wife who was watering the lawn, had a pair of shorts and a shirt on.

Why is it okay for men to go around bare chested, yet women have to be fully clothed, and when they aren't, they are called out on it!?  I totally understand that it has been accepted for a long time, but that does not make it to be morally correct.

My husband and I, as we were raised, are trying to do the best we can to instill in our children, God given morals and values, and to teach them the difference between right and wrong.  Why would we want our children to look upon a man or woman that is immodest?!  We don't!  And, because we don't, we do not allow them to wear anything that is immodest.  For example, if they are outside swimming, our children (girls and boys) have both swim shirts and swim shorts on.  None are in skimpy attire or bare chested.

I realize we are the black sheep of the world, but we as disciples are the minority of the world (Matthew 7:14).  Just because the world accepts it does not mean that Jesus or His disciples do.

What Is Family?

Me...I was over-sheltered.   My life consisted of home, school, and church, with a few friends mixed into the middle every now and then.  So, community comes hard to me.  Wherever I lived, it was like I was in the community, yet I wasn't.  I lived in the community, but yet I wasn't involved with what was going on.  The best way for me to describe with a visual is this way....

Take two boxes, 1 large and 1 small.  Cut a window like shape in both boxes (Outside the two boxes is the whole world).  Place the smaller box inside the larger one, lining up the "windows".  Now, take me.  Place me between the two boxes in front of the "windows" cut out.  Next, take some other people, and place them in the smaller box, leaving them in a community type setting.  It could be at a coffee shop, play date, etc.  Take a step back, and take a good look.  What do you see?  If you said you saw a person who was isolated, that is correct.

I was isolated.

There were many times where I went places, like my cousin's wedding, 8 months before mine, and I wanted to dance.  However, because of my parents' beliefs (no trash talk against my parents), I wasn't allowed to.  It caused me to feel left out.  How can I be a part of community, developing much needed relationships, if I am not allowed to be a part of activities that are not necessarily sinful??

Anyways, that is just the background.  I realize I have said it before, but just as a reminder, I do not plan to go into detail on my family dynamics.

I will be honest.  For quite a while, I lost my way.  I got off track.  BUT, thank the Lord, He has placed people in my life (y'all know who you are) to help me get back to where I need to be.  I fought those friends for quite a while.  I fought God.  I fought my husband.  None of it worked.  My way failed.  It wasn't until something happened with one of my family members, which caused me to "Hit Rock Bottom", as they say, that I really began to let people in and rescue me from the "swamp" I was sinking so deep and quickly in.

I am not yet where I need to be.  However, I am not where I used to be either.  The "ironic" thing to me now, is that all families have issues, including mine and my husband's.  There are some that are totally close, some literally living within the same neighborhood, and have community with each other, then there are those that are the total opposite, as far as living conditions/arrangements are, yet are still close, and make it a priority to be in contact etc.  Finally, there are those families that used to be close, but due to issues and moves to different cities, etc., there are those who are "family", yet not family.  In other words, they don't really make it a priority to remember each other's birthdays, or to to make it a point for reunions, etc.  By blood, they are family, but relationship wise, no one really knows each other.  Sadly, my family falls into that category.  It didn't used to be that way (or was it?), but because every one holds onto the past and their anger, I have witnessed relationships dissolve right before my eyes....

Which brings me to what I am about to say.  What is the definition of family?  What makes family...family?  One definition is being blood related, another is being adopted into a family.  I know one family in my church who is a foster family.  That same family has been blessed to be able to adopt one little boy as their own. Another family is currently in the process of adopting a little boy from the other side of the world.  Those definitions are both correct.  There is nothing wrong with them, but for me....

My life definition of family is not just about whether someone is adopted or is biologically related.  Family means to be in constant relationship with them.  Getting to know what they like, how they act, what they are going through, etc.  Community.  No matter whether it be good or bad.

I am in no way, shape, or form, perfect at this.  Neither is anyone else I know.  That is why it is called community.  God uses us to sharpen each other.  Not just as an individual, but as a child of God too.  The more we delve into Him, whether it be by reading His Word, listening to music, etc., the more we learn about who Jesus is.

Family is all about relationship.  For me, my family consists of people that I have relationships with, such as my church family.  Because I am developing those relationships, pressing into them, and vice versa, we continue to grow closer in a special way.

Relationship is KEY.

Righting Wrongs

As I sat there waiting to pull out, I studied the traffic.  "I don't want to be stuck in this!"  As I was deliberating on what move to make, I decided that the best course of action was to back up, and turn round.  Then, it happened.  Although us cautious drivers out there try to be extra safe, even we ourselves, have accidents sometimes.

As I was backing up, I had knocked over someone's mail box.  I was not too happy about it.  I was pretty bummed.  Every time it was brought up, and the more I thought about it, the worse I felt.  And not being able to tell the property owner when it originally happened, did not help things.  It made feel as if I had just committed a crime of "hit and run".  Especially when the Sonic's construction crew across the street, I later learned, saw what color and type of vehicle had caused the mistake.  It seriously got to the point where I literally told my husband I wanted to drop the topic because it just dragged me down.  Speaking of my husband, as a side note, because I had a previous commitment, my husband went back and took care of the knocked down mail box.  He later told me that the owner had thought it had happened for a reason.  Because of the construction across the street, she no longer liked where it was at, and placed it on the other side.  That way, there would be no more knock downs.

We try to teach our children that when they make a mistake, they need to correct their wrong.  Even if it is later in the day.  As adults, my husband and I try to be honorable people who are trustworthy.  And, because we want our children to have the same values, we try to set the example.  Running from problems and mistakes does not help things.  It just makes things worse.